In June 2022 we admitted to each other that the answer was no — not "not yet" but "not ever." The…
T=0: The Decision
My partner and I had been together 6 years, married for 2. The "when are you having kids" question had escalated from curiosity to pressure. We kept saying "we're thinking about it" which was true in the sense that we were thinking about whether we wanted to.
In June 2022 we admitted to each other that the answer was no — not "not yet" but "not ever." The clarity was unexpected. It felt less like a decision and more like a recognition of something that had already been true.
Living the life we chose without spending it explaining the choice.
6 Months Out
The internal clarity is real. The external response is exhausting. Family members cycle through denial ("you'll change your mind"), concern ("you'll be lonely"), and occasional judgment. I did not expect to have to defend a private decision this many times.
“You do not owe anyone an explanation. "We're happy with our decision" is a complete sentence. Giving reasons invites rebuttals. Stating the decision does not.”